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Relationship Mistakes Women Entrepreneurs Make: Denying What Makes You Tick

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Article in my series of Mistakes Women Entrepreneurs Make (Lessons from an Entertainment Icon)

Every two years Madonna creates a product.

Most would assume that product is “a record” but Madonna’s key product is really her reinvented self.

She goes on tour to promote her product. This turns Madonna’s personal life upside down and stresses her marriage. It is obvious that continuing to create and proactively share her creativity with the world is what “makes Madonna tick”. It is also obvious that creating at this level keeps her feeling alive and young.

Even in my busiest years of frequent speaking appearances at industry conferences, my level of physical and travel activity comes nowhere close to what Madonna pulls off every other year.

Unless she genuinely loves what she does, there is no way she can maintain such physically grueling, emotionally taxing ventures on a consistent basis.

Women Entrepreneurs: you MUST know who you really are, especially what makes you “tick”.

The truth may be that Madonna is someone who may never be “satisfied”, whatever “satisfied” means. Each person is satisfied differently and we run into trouble when we try to satisfy ourselves on someone else’s standards. You can’t expect to completely change who you are, at least, for someone else or on someone else’s demands. it has to come from you, from within, and you have to be willing and clear on the types of patterns habits that you have grown used to and sacrifices that you never considered making in the past.

I am a seeker and explorer. That is my modus operandi. I am not easily satisfied, and maybe I may even “never be satisfied”. But I know this is who I am, at least for the time being. My husband also knows very well this aspect of my nature, and how it dominates my decisions and various pursuits. Until I get to the next step of my ‘development’ in the evolution of my consciousness, I need to be clear with my partner of who I am and what makes me tick. Then, together we can manage how we can best grow together as a couple and as a family, including compromises we are willing to make.

Madonna’s marriage probably deteriorated partly because she denied how much “what makes her tick” keeps her alive and young, and at the same time, demands sacrifices from her personal life as wife and mom. Therefore, she has the wishful thought that “after this, I’m done… I’m going to settle down and focus on my personal life exclusively.”

This is a frequent occurrence with women entrepreneurs and the dynamics of relationships and marriages of highly successful women.

When your business is a major driver of what fulfills you and keeps you feeling alive, denying this can be hazardous to your relationships, because you keep yourself – and your loved ones hanging for a day that usually never comes.

Written by Jane Chin

June 30th, 2008 at 4:06 pm

Posted in entrepreneurship

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