Relationship Mistakes Women Entrepreneurs Make: Not Picking Your Battles

Article in my series of Mistakes Women Entrepreneurs Make (Lessons from an Entertainment Icon)

Society has played a part in portraying Madonna’s husband Guy Ritchie as “Mr. Madonna”. Additionally, it was suggested that being “Mr. Madonna” correlated with Ritchie’s failure in film directing.

Why doesn’t society look at and laud Ritchie’s very real, very influential, and very important role as a father and an agent of stability for the couple’s children? Why can’t a man be “Mr. Mom” and still be regarded as a decent professional? This is not about skill or talent, but rather, about work life balance and priorities. If Ritchie’s career has gone downhill because of he decided that providing his family stability is worth the sacrifice, what shame is there?

Still, Madonna may have opportunities to compromise and either were unaware or chose not to concede in areas she was able to “give a little”, but it may be tough for a woman who tried to give too much because she wanted to have it all right now.

A successful woman entrepreneur must know how to pick her battles.

Madonna didn’t pick her battles wisely: in cases where she could have given, she did not give. In situations where she could not give, she tried to give too much.

An example is Madonna’s growing interest in directing films, which was seen as stepping on her film director husband’s toes. This is an area where I think Madonna could have compromised. If being a film director is an important part of Guy Ritchie’s “unique identity” from Guy Ritchie’s point of view, then Madonna should see this as a boundary that she does not cross.

It’s one thing for Madonna to suddenly be hit with the realization that all her life she was born to direct films and she would creatively shrivel up and wither away if she did not get into film directing. It’s another when Madonna got into film directing probably because she was trying to scratch her existential itch - to find something that would satisfy the emptiness she may feel deep within.

Part of responsible partnering for women entrepreneurs is to recognize that a unique identity is as important to your spouse / partner as it is to you.